Being-ness

This morning I recognize and rejoice in my unique-ness.

I've started reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth in which he spends the first few chapters talking about the ego. And I've realized, by reading Tolle's explication of the ego, its function and its tendencies, a lot of what I do is egoic.
The ego works by identifiying, with things, ideologies, places, habits, thoughts and so forth. Identification means "to make the same," as in, to make the same as I. When I identify with things, like my running, my body, my way of being in the world, I equate that thing, that idea with my being. When, in truth, I am no-thing. I am not defined by any possesion, ideology, tradition or even by the body I inhabit.
I have been identifying with my body most of late. I have been experiencing a high degree of health, a function of an increased amount of exercise; I am required to log a certain amount of hours in the gym for a health class I am taking, and I've risen to the occasion with zeal.
I enjoy the way I feel when I work-out, when I run, lift weights, stretch, do yoga. There is nothing "wrong" with this, indeed a great benefit of my increased fitness is developing a body sense, learning about my body, becoming more comfortable in my body. And, at the same time, I derive satisfaction from what I see in the mirror, the physical appearance I am shaping pleases me.
Tolle speaks directly to this aspect of the egoic mind in the second chapter of A New Earth. "In the West," he says, "It is the physical appearance of the body that contributes greatly to the sense of who you think you are: its strength or weakness, its percieved beauty or ugliness relative to others. For many people, their sense of self-worth is intimately bound up with their phyical strength, good looks, fitness, and external appearance." The problem with such a fixation is the inevitable disappearance or shifting of those physical attributes.
The first step in the process of reliquishing the hold of the ego over my life is to simply acknowledge its presence. So often, we allow, I allow my ego to run my life without even noticing its presence, let alone its power. When I am living a life goverened by ego, I begin to experience fluctuating moods; I will be happy with life and similarly dissatisfied in the course of two days or two hours. Yet when I have detached myself from the worries of the ego, when I dwell in the space between my ego and my body, when I live from an awareness of my true nature, the tendency for capricious moods is lessened.
This concept of a space between the ego and the physical, the body is something of which Tolle has reminded me. I have long since been intellectually aware of my inseparability from the totality of life, of my divine being, the oneness of life, etc. Yet, as has been brought to my attention again by Tolle, the intellect and its function, thinking are constructs of the ego. My true being-ness is deeper, universal, energetic, formless and eternal. One way to feel this formlessness or at least sense it on some level is to detach oneself, temporarily, from the thinking noise of everyday life. Say, for instance, you are preoccupied with something; thoughts about this thing, its effect on your life, the feelings it brings, and so forth swirl endlessly in your mind. Take this opportunity to extract yourself from this experience and notice you are endlessly contemplating this thing. That place you took yourself, the place to which you withdrew to inspect your thinking, that is the formless realm, the universal, eternal realm in which all Life is connected. Its as simple as that.

POTENTiality

This morning I am filled with a sublime bliss, an awareness of and comfort with the possibilities of my life.

In the past couple of days I have been inspired to be a food and travel writer. Why?
First and foremost, these are two aspects of life of which I am very, very fond. I am passionate about food and travel. Travel is one of the values by which I've decided to live. Food, beyond its necessity, is a glorious event. I love food. I consider myself a foodie; I've been raised a farmer, with fresh vegetables all the time. Perhaps I've been spoiled, perhaps blessed. Maybe both.
I think every person should have the opportunity to enjoy the types of food I have, in the ways I have.
This is part of my greater vision for the world. All people have the right to healthy, delicious, affordable food. And why not be the farmer/gardener yourself? Backyard farms anyone?
Back to writing.
To study writing/literature and develop my voice as a writer, this is my overall academic goal. That, in addition to cultivating a sincere knowledge of and appreciation for the diversity and complexity of the world around me. I plan to study history, literature, philosophy, sociology and the like, in order to develop a versatility, a comfort with writing.
As a travel/food writer, the idea would be to receive income by doing things I love, eating and traveling.
My academic plan, today, is to receive two General Studies A.A. degrees from Palomar w/ emphases in the Arts and Humanities (the 2nd comprised mostly of a continued study in Spanish), then to transfer to a university where I will receive a Bachelors in something having to do with English Literature. Then, and this has just re-emerged as a desire in the past two days, then I would like to attend the University of Gastronomic Sciences in Italy. There I would receive a Masters in a field yet to be determined.
That's today's plan. And it feels good.

Affirmation

Today's affirmation: I am complete and perfect Now.
My intention for this next week, my spring break:
outstanding productivity, bliss, love and relaxation.